What do you do when you try so hard but just can't seem to breathe easy!

I feel like there's an elephant sitting on me hindering me from breathing! Work today was very hard not just because it's work but because I've had so much weighing on my mind! This "new" life is beginning to look bright but at the same time the brightness is almost overwhellming! Now that I have the freedom to go out with friends or get tattoos without having to hear someone complain or get my lip peirced or wear certain things...now that I have the right to make up my own mind without the concequences of hearing someones negativity...I just second guess myself! I sit back and look at the life I've had and the life that I could now make and I wonder whats the right choices and whats the wrong ones! I'm so happy and appreciative to have such wonderful girls to call my friends now...they have been there for me to talk to through alot of the mess I'm going through and some have even been going through it as well! I know that I can always count on them to be there with open ears and arms! I know later on down the road I will start dating again and it makes me so nervous...I have a gaurd up that I feel like will take something strong to knock down. I know I will always be on the defence now or always have that trust issue in the back of my mind...(granted all that is WAY down the line) I wish work was a little more set in hours and not just random! I don't like being alone or feeling alone. Even though I'm with mom and dad...I feel like most of the time I'm in the way! I wanna go out and have fun with friends! I feel like I can't do that as much because of work or because I don't want to come into my parents house late and I don't want them to worry about me! I'm trying to save for my own place but no matter how hard I try I know its going to be a struggle to do that and pay my bills all on my own! That freedom will be something completly brand new and it kinda scares the hell out of me! But at the same time I'm SO ready! I think my brain likes to confuse me... I'm ready and excited for everything but at the same time I'm scared and I know trouble will come eventually! That's why it's called LIFE!!!!